My mom was a keen navštěvovatelkou public conveniences. Since childhood they took me to the bathroom, she taught me clean cutting board with toilet paper and then he carefully around the perimeter poklást pieces of paper. And finally I put on the heart: "Never, never sit on a public toilet bowl." Then she showed me the toilet "position", which consists in balancing the bowl in half-sitting position, without in any way affected body boards.
That was many years ago. But today, even though I'm an adult, is painfully difficult for me this "position" endure when my bladder just before the explosion.
When you "gotta go" on a public toilet, you come to the front of women, which gives the impression here that you can buy underwear Brad Pitt for half the price. So you wait patiently and sweetly smile at others who have also discreetly legs crossed and finally found themselves in a group where you can talk about all the crap about which normally speaks only woman in the queue to pee.
Finally, you're next. Zkontroluješ under the door all the stalls if you can see your feet. All are occupied. Finally, one open and you almost stick your booth from the person who occupied it until now. Vsoupíš and find that locking does not work. Never mind ....., hold it by hand. Do you want to hang the bag on a hook, which should be on the door, but ..... no not here, so I hang up around her neck and watch how the rocks beneath you, and trying to ignore the way they handle the bags' shadow "head, because you have a purse full of mess that you there for a long time" bereft "and most of the things which actually do not use, but it is important to wear what had happened to .....
But let's get back to the door ..... not as functional lock, you have only one option - to hold the hand while the other one can quickly sudnaváš panties and zaujímáš "position" .....
Relief ...... Ahhhhhh ..... even greater relief ..... And once you phone rings - which is of course in my purse. This is the moment when those muscles begin to testify service .... I'd love would you sit, but you have not got time to clean cutting board or cover it with paper, so you keep still "position", those legs are shaking so hard that it reached 8 . the Richter scale, trying to ignore the thin thread of which is attached to the bowl and from which you tarnished tights - which will certainly see !!! But luckily phone stopped ringing. To distract the mind from this disaster, you start looking for a roll of toilet paper, aaaaale ..... haha! Role is empty ...! Legs are you still knocking more. Do you remember that you still have a piece of Kleenex, which you had just cleared the nose. It will have to suffice. Zmačkáš it so that the hall as much as possible. But it is really small and it's still wet from the way you blew. Then someone takes the handle of your cabin, and since the lock on the door still does not work, you get a huge blow to the head through the door. Sharply as a madman zařveš "OBSAZENOOOOOO" !!!!! While still přidržuješ door with his free hand, the phone rings again. How are you trying it finally shut down, the piece of tissue they fall out of his hand directly into puddles on the floor, on which you're not sure if it is water or hmmmm ..... che!
Legs already can not handle stress, undermine you and you're flying backward until dosedneš the toilet bowl. In an instant you back on your feet, with štítivým resistance, but it's too late, your ass already come into contact with all the agents and forms of life from the boards that you, even if you had time to do before neobložila toilet paper, that in any case there was not. Leaving aside the blow to the head, severed his head from ear handbags, dirty feet, nylons and there's still a damp thing and the memory of how your mom says, "That's disgusting ..... can not imagine what kind of disease you There could catch ...... "this disaster do not stop there .....
Automatic sensor toilet is now so confused that allow the water to flush waste to everything so vehemently that you have to catch the holder, on which hang toilet paper (if there is) for fear of you flushes with each other and the vypluješ somewhere in China. Up to now finally rezignuješ. You're drunk, water that spurted from the toilet bowl like a fountain. You're exhausted. Trying to wipe the film of Winterfresh gum and then you come out of the stall to the sink. We are unable to figure out how to work the automatic sensor on the tap and wash your hands with saliva and utřeš is a paper towel. You wander around queues of women still waiting with crossed legs, and unable to even smile politely. Then you kind of good souls at the end of a series of alerts that you pull behind the shoe glued toilet paper long as Mississippi ...! Take off your soles of his shoes, blunt thou shalt put it into the hand of a woman who told you this, gently say, "Take it ..... maybe you need it !!!" and walk out.
There you look at her husband, who went to the men's room, used it and went out again and that was enough time to read War and Peace while waiting for you. "What took you so long?" Asks you angry .... "I was worried about you ..... I even called you, if something happened ........ but it nezvedalas !!!!!!! ". And this is exactly the moment when you send him to "fuck".
This story is dedicated to all women in the world that has ever had to use a public toilet. And finally explains to you, our men, why does it take so long ..
Author: Unknown woman