Househusband

1. FiftyFifty
2. Joke

Monday

I started to leave and I was left alone at home for the first time. A woman with her children for a week she went to her mother. It meant for me a very nice change, and I enjoyed it a great feeling to have the house to himself. Just me and our five-year dog. I was looking forward to the Azores will spend seven unforgettable days. Just this morning I made a precise plan for every day and I have planned a time. I knew exactly when I wake up, how much time you spend in the bathroom and how much preparing breakfast. I also calculated the time for washing, cleaning, dog walking, shopping and cooking. When I roughly estimated the total time dedicated to the obligations I am pleasantly surprised to find that I have a lot of free time. I did not understand why women talk so much about home and make it such a big deal when it is an activity that requires so little time. It was just, well it organized.
We had dinner each chop. Me and the dog. On the table I built a candle, so I did a nice atmosphere, and spread festive tablecloth and put into vases rose. The dog had pate as a starter, then the meat with delicate vegetables, and cake for dessert. After dinner I was drinking wine and smoking a cigar, tucked away for special occasions. For a long time I did not feel so good.

Tuesday

In the morning I had a headache and I slept. I decided that I will have another look at your schedule. It seemed to me that will require small changes. Dog, I explained that every day is a holiday and therefore can not always have a starter and mainly three bowls, which then have to be washed. At breakfast, I noticed that the production of orange juice has one disadvantage. Fruit pollutes the entire device. Another option - to make juice for two days straight. Then I would not have machine washed daily.
Discovery: I've found that I can warm up in the hot soup, saving one container, you do not have to wash later. I certainly was not going to vacuum daily, as it wanted woman. Will suffice once every two days. It is important to wipe přezout and dog paws. I smiled at the slight changes in the plan and again felt great.

Wednesday

Smote my cell phone at night, so I fell asleep again and in the daily schedule so there was a leak. I started to feel that my household occupied more time than I estimated. I should streamline their business activities. First Steps: I bought food in the bag. Do not have to waste time constantly cooking. Food should not be prepared more than her. Bedding began to be a problem. First cast blankets, ventilate and then strew complicated. I thought it was unnecessary and a waste of time. I had in making the frustration. So I figured that it is not necessary to make the bed every day when I go to sleep at night again.
Also, I have not prepared dog food complex. Finally, who's had a holiday, me or the Azores? I bought ready-made food for dogs. He looked strange, but was unlucky when I could eat fast food I have had to adapt too.

Thursday

Stupid phone! I pulled the unused old things in a box, a good alarm clock. Another thing. No more orange juice! As such inconspicuous dirty orange lead instrument, it's unbelievable. I buy ready-made juice in bottles. Discovery: I managed to get out of bed so that I barely disturbed blankets. Then only had a little smooth blanket. But it took exercise and it was necessary to make a person during sleep in the bed too nevrtěl. This often meant immoderate position. It hurt me for a little back, but it could be removed with hot shower. I also stopped to shave every day. It was really a waste of time. Plus I got the time I lacked and which has a woman who does not shave.
Findings: There is no need to eat each time from a different plates, affixing to the dishes. This is done wasting time. Constantly wash dishes I started on my nerves. The dog ate from one dish. It is, after all, only an animal.
Note: I came to the conclusion that Hoover than just once a week. Patches are pulling dog hair in the corners, so they are not as visible. And for lunch and dinner I had sausages.

Friday

Reliable alarm clock rang, but I have not slept at all. Rigid position did not do well my back. So, the end of fruit juices, bottles are too heavy!
I found the following: Morning sausage tasted good. At noon less. Evening all. When a person eats sausages for more than two days, it could also cause mild nausea.
The dog got dried food. It is just as nutritious, and especially nezasviní bowl. Otherwise, I would have felt like an automatic dishwasher.
I also figured out that the soup can be eaten straight from the pot. It tastes the same. No plates, no scoop!
I also stopped mopping the kitchen floor. This activity I already went on as before, making the nerves. For more careful examination of the kitchen, I got the impression that too much piling pile of garbage. I did not know where they come. Next time on duty. I had to run them out.
Note: Canned foods do not come into consideration, because it erases opener.

Saturday

Findings: What to undress in the evening, in the morning when I have to dress again? I do prefer longer poležím. In addition, I do not even covering up, so bed stays perfectly made up.
Azor mess he made and added other clumps of dog hair. I scolded him. I'm not his maid! Strange ... I realized that this is how my wife occasionally talks.
Saturday was a day of shaving, but I did not have a taste for it. My nervous condition was not good. It hurt my back and I did not want anything to do. I decided to have breakfast just what you need to unwrap, open, cut, delete, cook, or shuffle. All these activities annoyed me.
Schedule: Lunch eat directly from the bag directly over the stove. No plates, no cutlery, no placemats and other nonsense.
I started a little hurt gums. Maybe it was the lack of fruit that is too heavy to transport. It could be the beginning of scurvy? With strange feelings I began to think of Amundsen.
In the afternoon, a woman phoned and asked if I washed the windows and washed clothes. I laughed hysterically. I told her that such things do not have time. I had a problem with the tub, somehow jammed spaghetti. But I really did not mind because I shower in the same way.
Note: If you decide to eat again Azores straight from the fridge, we must do it quickly, so did not stay open long.

Disturbing finding when lie down in bed: I miss my wife.

Sunday

We watched from the bed to the Azores, both on television people ate a variety of dishes and delicacies. We both had a mouth full of saliva. We are both weak and awkward. In the morning we had breakfast some of the dog dish. Neither it tasted. Should I wash, shave, comb, make dog food, go out with him, wash dishes, clean up, buy, and do many other things, but I lack the strength. I had the unfortunate feeling that they can not keep on his feet and that my fading eyesight. Azor ceased to wag his tail about two days.

In the last self-preservation, I sneaked into the restaurant and before that I released a dog into the garden. I ate great food on different plates more than an hour. Then I went to the hotel. The room was clean, tidy and cozy. Scattered around the bed and I slept again as at the beginning of the expedition. It's an ideal solution, because this is how I really saved a lot of time.

Until this morning I recover, I think, what I use it!